I've been trying to write about our weekend with RO, but I just can't seem to find the words. Or maybe because I can't remember much, because more than half of the time, I was too wasted to function.

Friday. We had dinner at The Old Spaghetti House in Libis. Catching up ang drama. After ng dinner, hindi namin malaman kung saan pupunta. Comedy bar? Antipolo? Somewhere South? We ended up drinking at Grilla. I got too wasted and ended up being practically dragged up our hotel room. I should have gone with the comedy bar option. Eto yung cheap na wasted moment. Yung nagbasag ka lang. And I seriously couldn't remember anything concrete after the last picture taken of us na maayos ako. I lost 1 hour of my life. And it felt real bad. Meda pa nila ako. I felt bad at nahiya ako sa kanila. I ended up crying myself to sleep. And yeah, I find it ok to tell the story now. After all, nobody knew where those tears came from, not even I. Natatawanan ko na lang yung eksena namin nina Aika and Lea sa hotel na tinatry pa nila akong i-comfort habang nag-a-Angelica Panganiban ako. I never opened my eyes. Never acknowledged anything. Now, that was a scene. hahaha.

Saturday. Pseudo-Project 151. KR and GM mixed again at Carla's place. This was what Kriska, Grace, Jay, and I have long been waiting for. It didn't go exactly as we planned, pero masaya kami that night. Kasi yun yung parang yung dati. Kulang, pero enjoy. And mind you, Rozz even flew in from HKG to spend the weekend with BB Robee. Even if Kriska had to pull off a Cinderella, and even if we missed her in the "after-party," I must say that that weekend rocked. We checked in after hanging out at Carla's place. We still had bottles of vodka and whiskey with us, and a can of pineapple juice to mix them with. Eh wala naman kaming can opener. We ended up downing Raspberri in pure. Tubig at ice lang ang chaser. Jay's fantasy of habulang gahasa and habulang tulungan didn't happen; instead, we found ourselves singing our lungs out -- documented in 30 minutes' worth of video.

I had this entry drafted two weeks ago. Haven't gotten the drive to finish it until now. Two weeks earlier, despite loaded thoughts about that weekend, I still couldn't put the feeling into words. I tried recounting what we did so I can email Yvette and make her feel the fun we had, but it didn't work, and I still haven't come up with a decent readable entry.

I watched our videoke videos attentively. SOBRANG nakakahiya; major social suicide. Kahit nakapikit lang ako most of the time habang kumakanta. Pero doon ko narealize na talagang nag-enjoy ako nung weekend na yun. (hahaha makasarili, hindi ko naman weekend yon!) Narealize ko how much I missed Yvette, Kathleen, and Robee. How much I enjoyed 2008 with them. How much I still enjoy being with them, despite the long time we've been apart. Kasi kahit sabihin nating wala ako masyadong maalala habang kinakanta namin (Rozz, Jer, Jay) ang mga yun, habang pinapanood ko yung videos namin, nafifeel ko kung gaano ko kamahal tong mga taong to. Hindi lang ang aking videoke buddies that night, pero silang lahat. Every single person. Kaya siguro kami emosyonal din masyado.

Ako ba namang maiyak sa intro pa lang ng Stop (Spice Girls), diba? Kasi yan ang favorite videoke song namin last year. And when we hear that song, mega-flashback ang memories.

Can I just share that we have 6 sets of videos?! With consent namang kinuhanan yan. But we were too wasted to be conscious of what we were doing while singing.

Set 1:
It's My Life - Bon Jovi
Ironic - Alanis Morissette
Black or White - Michael Jackson
Bitch - Meredith Brooks

Set 2:
Dancing in September - Earth, Wind, & Fire
So Slow - Freestyle
Sway - Bic Runga
Stop - Spice Girls

Set 3:
Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
Don't Speak - No Doubt

Vid 4: Dreamlover - Mariah Carey

Vid 5: For You I Will - Monica

Set 6: Graduation Series
Count on Me - Whitney Houston
jer: "friendship!"
rozz: "kaya umuwi ako ng HKG eh!"
gdwn: (tuloy tuloy lang sa pag-iyak)
jay: (intro next song) "Eto naman, pang-college!"

Thanks To You - Tyler Collins


Odiba. Ang ipinangako kong kwento ng weekend namin eh naging reflection paper. EQ booster, pota.


Ang bilis kasi. After we've found out that Robee was on leave, the next thing we knew, nasa MNL na siya at binisita kami sa office. And we just got together during the weekend. Bitin. Pero ang sarap nung feeling na magkakasama kami ulit. Parang tulad lang talaga nung dati. Narealize ko na lang ulit na Robee was not supposed to stay nung tapos na yung weekend.

And that was my closing paragraph, drafted two weeks ago. Walang kwenta, bitin din.

And here I am now, wallowing in melancholy brought about by the weather. Two weeks later, I finally found the drive to write again. Ewan ko ba kung bakit hirap na hirap akong tapusin to. Ang panget kasi ng simula kaya hindi ko madugtungan. Pero gusto ko kasi siyang i-share.

Anyway, so this is two weeks later. Two weeks later and I get to laugh at the videoke videos already. More than the social suicide that it is, like Lea said, it's not about the number of people you're with but who you are with. And I love these people. And while typing this down, I realize that I'm still dwelling on 2008. Back when everything else was simpler. Back when all of us were here and just celebrating good times.

Back when Kriska and I never reached our EQ limit. Back when we Playmates didn't need drinking sessions to get by. Back when I could easily put down my thoughts into writing. Back when I didn't need to censor anything out.

We're halfway into 2009 and we can't help it but feel miserable at times. Ako nga gusto ko na lang matapos tong taong to eh. Kaya lang iniisip ko, what would change when 2010 kicks in? Of course things would change. Pero not necessarily for my convenience, diba? Kaya we try to keep ourselves busy as much as possible. We find things to look forward to. And these little things do work. Napapangiti naman nila kami. Nadidistract naman kami. But as soon as good times end, we seem to go back to our monotonous lives.

But that's just one way of looking at it. Not the ideal one, though.